


Beer With The Boys (And Bot)

by MatrixDream



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Cuddling, Donut is Donut, Drinking, Drunk Kissing, Español | Spanish, Honestly it's fluffy, Lopez is Lopez but with a small soft side, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 00:19:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11452089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatrixDream/pseuds/MatrixDream
Summary: It's disgusting when humans rub their mouths together, at least in Lopez's opinion.





	Beer With The Boys (And Bot)

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse the shitty google translate Español.

        Cheers chorused around the room as glass bottles clinked together simultaneously. A celebratory atmosphere flowed through the room as alcoholic beverages were cracked open and enthusiastically consumed. Nearly everyone's mood seemed to improve despite what they were actually celebrating being a bit fuzzy. Regardless, any reason to have alcohol was a great reason. Unless of course you were a cynical brown robot who was unable to ingest anything and were now stuck surrounded by men stupid when they were sober and downright unbearable when inebriated. 

        Lopez released a mechanical sigh with an unopened beer in his servo while Sarge danced around the room wildly, spewing made up war stories as he stumbled around. Most of the tales involved the blues who were currently here and intervening during every inaccuracy with one of their own. Same shit as always. 

        "Aaawwwww, they make such a cute couple!" Caboose stole the robot's attention as he fawned over Grif and Simmons drunkenly making out. 

        Lopez would be scrunching up his nose in disgust if he had one; human kissing was gross and unsanitary. He turned his head away and instead focused his visual field on the bottle in his hand. Shaking the content inside, he decided he was bored and wanted to get up to do something actually useful. Though his short lived plan was thwarted as a body was practically thrown into his lap, only unharmed due to the bright pink armour. 

        "Lopez! Where are you going?" Donut asked, splaying himself out on the robot as he tipped back his helmet to take a sip of his own beer. Revealing his pale skin before it was covered again as his visor tipped back into place. "Oh, I see what the problem is!" Grabbing the alcohol out of the brown bot's servo he replaced it with a can of oil. Where he got it from was unknown but the gesture was thoughtful nonetheless. "Boop." To top if off he inserted an unnecessary straw. 

        "Gracias...supongo" (Thanks...I guess.) The robot eyed the can wearily, the fuel wouldn't give him any equivalent to a buzz but it was something to occupy his attention, so he knocked it back. 

        "It feels good to have a party in a room full of strapping young men! I'm usually more involved though." The pink soldier commented, sounding casual but quite frankly nothing was all that casual with him. 

        "Por qué son te gusta este?" (Why are you like this?) Lopez questioned despite the futility, everyone was used to these kinds of remarks but sometimes he just couldn't stop himself from asking. 

        "Yeah I like this kind of stuff. Are you enjoying yourself?" Mistranslated as usual, at least some had gotten through. 

        "No." Crushing the now empty can in his servo, he threw it away and was now tempted to push the human off of his lap. 

        "Aw, uh, por qué no?" Donut asked, watching as the machine sighed before briefly looking around the crowded room in annoyance and he released a sound of understanding. "Oh, well if that's the case, maybe we should go somewhere a little more  _private."_

        "Obtener apagado luego." (Get off then) Lopez responded, ignoring the implicating tone.  

        "After the show though." Donut chuckled to himself as he openly ogled Simmons and Grif. With the later suddenly breaking from the kiss to announce he was hungry. Someone called him a fat ass and the pink armoured man whined as the moment was ruined. 

        "Muy bien, obtener apagado ti estúpido pastelería rosa." (Alright, get off you stupid pink pastry.) The robot sighed loudly, following through with actually pushing the human off when he was corrected with an offended 'light-red!'. 

        Donut groaned on the ground but took another drink anyways. He was drunk off of his ass and that was the only reason he was helped back up by the one who had put him down there in the first place. 

        "Odio todo de ti." (I hate everything about you.) Lopez made sure to state as he got the drunk bastard standing. 

        "Aw, deep down I knew you loved me Lopez." The pink soldier giggled and leaned against the metallic frame supporting him. 

        The aforementioned bot only groaned in response and practically dragged him out of the room of ~~idiots~~ 'strapping young men' to hopefully get him to his room and off to bed. One less drunk dumb ass was one less hour of a processor ache. Thank what ever higher power there was that they were in red base so they didn't have to cross an entire canyon to get to his room. They still had to walk/ trip down a few halls but as the roar of the party died down, the quiet was actually nice. If only Donut wasn't trying to talk the poor bot's audios off, who had resorted to picking him up and running the rest of the way since drunk stumbling was getting them nowhere fast. 

        Only when they actually arrived in front of his room did he finally realize where the hell they were going. "Looks like I don't need to ask which room." Though he released a sad noise when he was just laid down and the machine began to leave. "Espera..." (Wait) He reached out towards the departing form, and grabbed the brown armoured robot before opening his arms in a requested hug. 

        Lopez paused and reluctantly turned back. The hold on his arm was relinquished but the human's body language showed a crave for contact. With a loud and extra exasperated sigh, he accepted. Pushing the drunk asshole over, he made room for himself on the crappy military bed.

        "Yay!" Donut cheered quietly before instantly gluing himself to the bot's side, snuggling in nice and close while the machine was feeling generous. Though he seemed to finally be sated enough to shut the fuck up for once. 

        It almost seemed like he was sleeping as the silence dragged on. He was not, and of course he broke the silence after a few minutes. "Stupid question. Do you have a mouth?" 

        "..." Lopez only looked down at the man, judgement written all over his lack of face. "...Por qué?" 

        "Quiero besarte..." (I want to kiss you) Donut answered sheepishly. 

        "Estás borracho." (You're drunk.)

        "Sí ." 

        If only Lopez had been made with optics, his life would be much better if he could roll them. "Dormir." (Sleep.) Clearly the human pouted over his response but proceeded to get comfortable and do as told. And by getting comfortable that meant removing the pink helmet. Damn it, sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes was not supposed to be attractive to a robot. 

        "You never answered my question." The man pointed out, clearly not going to sleep until one was given. 

        "No." 

        "Have you ever been kissed?" 

        Lopez released a loud, synthesized sigh. "...No." Suddenly a quick peck was placed on his metallic cheek and his entire body flushed with unexpected heat. 

        "There, now you have." Donut stated before snuggling back into the bot and finally closing his eyes to drift off to sleep. Leaving the robot to stare down at him both flabbergasted and flustered. Maybe disgusting human kissing wasn't so disgusting after all. 

 

 


End file.
